Having a Good Attitude and Treating Others Well

Assalamu Alaykum,

I really was amazed by just how many ahadith (sayings and actions of Prophet Muhammad [peace be upon him]) revolve around the importance of good attitude and treating other people well, and hence, decided it was an appropriate topic to write about.

As a Muslim, whenever somebody asks me about my religion, I always reply with the obvious: we believe in one god “Allah”, pray 5 times a day, fast during Ramadan, pay charity, follow the Qur’an, our belief in Prophets, and I mention all the other various worshiping rituals that “define” a Muslim. However, after reading these ahadith and ayahs (sentences from the Qur’an) about the way we should act, the definition of a Muslim goes much beyond just worship – it also includes our actions. It is imperative for Muslims, along with the acts of worship, to be humble, merciful, unselfish, pious, modest, noble, straightforward, honest, cheerful people who have good attitudes and treat other people with the utmost respect.

Next time I’m asked about my religion, I will be sure to include our behavior as one of the aspects that define Islam and Muslims, inshAllah. At the end of the post is a short dua (prayer/supplication) that I hope we all can memorize and repeat on a daily basis.

The true Muslim has a good attitude in his dealings with others. He is humble, and is soft and gentle in his speech, following the guidance of Islam and the example of the Prophet (pbuh). The Prophet’s servant, Anas (ra), described the Prophet as  “the best of people in his attitude towards others.” In fact, Anas went on to say: “I served the Messenger of Allah for ten years, and he never said to me ‘Uff!’ (the mildest word of contempt in Arabic). If I did not do something, he never said, ‘Why did you not do such-and-such?” (Bukari and Muslim).

This is the description the servant of the Prophet (pbuh) gave! This demonstrates that no matter who you are interacting with, whether it be your boss or someone who works for you, treat them with respect and care.

In addition, the Prophet (pbuh) was not a person who used bad language or insulted others. The Prophet (pbuh) said: “Bad language and vile talk have nothing whatsoever to do with Islam. The best of people in Islam are those who have the best attitude (towards others).” (At-Tabaraani, Ahmad and Abu Ya’la; its men are thiqaat [trustworthy]).

The Sahaabah (the companions of the Prophet, may Allah be pleased with them all) used to hear the Prophet’s noble moral teachings, and they would see with their own eyes the excellent way in which he used to deal with people. So they would obey his words and follow his example. Check this example out:

Anas (ra) said: “The Prophet was merciful. Nobody came to him without receiving a promise of his help, which he would fulfill if he had the means to do so. On one occasion, when the iqaamah (call for prayer) had been given, a Bedouin came to him, took hold of his cloak, and said, ‘I still have some matter outstanding, and I do not want to forget it.’ So the Prophet went with him and resolved the matter, then he came back and prayed.” (Bukhari: Al-Adab al-Mufrad).

SubhanAllah. I really was truly amazed by this hadith. I can only imagine how busy the Prophet (pbuh) was – he was a father, a husband, a businessman, a teacher and ultimately the leader of the Muslim community. Yet he made it a priority to address every person’s concerns/problems no matter who he or she was. Nor did he get upset with the man for pulling on his cloak or object to resolving the matter before the prayer, because he was building a just society, teaching the Muslims by his example of how a Muslim should treat his brother, and showing them the moral principles that should prevail in a Muslim community.

Islam also describes those who have the best attitude towards others as being the most beloved to Allah of His servants. This is seen in the hadith of Usaamah ibn Shurayk, who said: “Some people came to him [the Prophet] and asked, ‘Who is the most beloved to Allah of His servants?’  The Prophet (pbuh) replied: ‘Those who are the best in attitude towards others.’” (At-Tabaraani; its men are rijaal as-saheeh).

It comes as no surprise that the person who has the best attitude towards others should also be the one who is most beloved to Allah, for good treatment of others is an important feature of Islamic law. It is the most significant deed that can be placed in the balance of the Muslim on the Day of Judgment. It is equivalent to prayer and fasting, the two greatest bases of Islam, as the Prophet (pbuh) said:

“No greater deed will be placed in the balance than a good attitude towards others. A good attitude towards others will bring a person up to the level of fasting and prayer.” (Tirmidhi and Al-Bazzaar; its men are thiqaat.)

Another hadith that the Prophet (pbuh) said: A good attitude is a blessing and a bad attitude is a calamity. Piety lengthens life and charity will prevent a bad death” (Ahmad; its men are rijal as-saheeh).

The Prophet (pbuh) asked Allah to make his attitude better, even when Allah had described him in the Qur’an as being “on an exalted standard of character.” (Qur’an 68:4).

This is a clear indication of the Prophet’s (pbuh) deep concern and earnest desire that the Muslims should continue to seek to increase in good attitudes, no matter what heights they had already scaled, just as their Prophet (pbuh) continued to seek to increase in good attitudes through his dua (see below for dua). “Good attitudes” is a comprehensive term which includes all the good characteristics that human beings may acquire, such as modesty, patience, gentleness, forgiveness, tolerance, cheerfulness, truthfulness, trustworthiness, sincerity, straightforwardness, purity of heart, and so on.

The one who sets out to explore the Islamic teachings on social issues will find himself confronted with a host of teachings that encourage every single one of these noble attitudes. This is an indication of the intense concern that Islam has to form the social personality of the Muslim in the most precise fashion. So it does not stop at mentioning generalities, but it also deals with every minor moral issue that may form individual aspects of the integrated social personality.

One of the Prophet’s (pbuh) duas was as follows: “Allahumma ahsanta khalqi fa ahsin khulqi (O’ Allah, You have made my physical constitution good, so make my attitude and behavior good also).” (Ahmad; its men are rijal as-saheeh).

JazakAllah Khair, and Allah knows best.

source: The Ideal Muslim by Muhammad Ali Al-Hashimi

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